forgiving myself for being a beginner……
i’ve always wanted to be able to do something other than dance. express myself in some other medium. form.
so i doodle. so i scribble. so i slosh paint around my basement. each time forgiving myself for the mess i make and the total silliness that results.
i write and it feels right but to skilled writers it must sound like nonsense. awkwardly constructed and just bad.
i paint and it does not feel right but i do it anyway.
i doodle and i know that all i’m capable of is squiggly lines and cartoonish flatness. not even good cartoonish flatness.
anyway. that’s why i have to continually remember that i am a beginner. a novice. a mess maker. and when i remember this i can splash, doodle, scribble all i want and be deeply happy with the fallout.
here are a few things that resulted from my mess making. yes. they hang around my house…..forcing me to forgive myself and love the silly kid inside of me who just wants to see her imagination in front of her.
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